Do You Suffer From Duck Syndrome?
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A while back, I spent some time interviewing investors about founder success. I work with a lot of successful founders, as do they. I was curious to know what kinds of struggles they hear about.
Challenges like managing emotions, people, time, energy, and mental health.
...that lead to stress, strained partnerships, toxic cultures, warring teams, and burnout.
...and attrition, stifled innovation, lost time, wasted money, stunted growth.
I could go on...
“Huh,” each and every investor told me. “They don’t tell us about any of that.”
I was surprised that they were surprised. Most of these investors were founders who had these same struggles, themselves, at one point or another.
But I shouldn't have been surprised.
Success seems effortless when you're an outside observer looking in. But beneath the surface, it's often a struggle.
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There is a phenomenon, the name of which is believed to have originated at Stanford University: Duck Syndrome. As opposed to Impostor Syndrome, Duck Syndrome describes what happens when you assume your peers effortlessly glide to success—when they are in reality paddling vigorously, struggling to stay afloat.
You assume your peers have it all together while you don’t.
And the irony is that others assume that YOU have it all together, while they don't.
All together, we unwittingly perpetuate a system that upholds the fallacy of:
✔️ natural born,
✔️ brilliant,
✔️ infallible
leaders who effortlessly change the world, fueled by:
✔️ inspiration
✔️ ambition
✔️ protein shakes
✔️ ease
✔️ and 4-hours of sleep a night.
❌ It’s just. Not. True.
Leveling up as a leader is not easy. Nor should it be.
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Struggle is an integral part of any engaging journey—told, imagined, and experienced.
Because if life was easy, you would not be as engaged. Nor would you be likely to accomplish whatever it is you’re trying to create, achieve, or do (I go into this in depth in my new book, The Leader’s Journey).
But leveling up your leadership shouldn’t be so hard that you run your team, your company, and yourself into the ground kicking so vigorously that you create tsunamis of chaos that engulf and destroy rather than build, which is what you really want to do.
Pretending that these struggles don't exist or assuming that you're the only one struggling to show up only makes things worse.
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If you're leveling up quickly, struggling to stay afloat, and assume that your peers have it all together while you do not, 1. know that you’re not alone. This is totally normal! I wouldn't have a job if it wasn't. 2. Find people to talk to who can help you regain or gain a new perspective—peers, mentors, coaches, anyone. Listen to their stories. See what you learn.
Success requires you to grow as a human. Growing is hard. The smartest people do it most effectively with others. That's also part of being human. And it's all part of the journey.
Glide ducklings, glide. And ride those waves you create before they come crashing down on you. It's a lot more fun. I promise.
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A version of this originally appeared in my newsletter. Subscribe now.