When Management Skills Are Not Enough
Harvard Business Review recently published a study aptly titled Women Score Higher Than Men in Most Leadership Skills. The report outlines this (not surprising) finding:
“…women in leadership positions are perceived just as — if not more — competent as their male counterparts.
Still, the disturbing fact is that the percentage of women in senior leadership roles in businesses has remained relatively steady since we conducted our original research. Only 4.9% of Fortune 500 CEOs and 2% of S&P 500 CEOs are women. And those numbers are declining globally.
This is one of the many reasons why I don't do out of the box leadership skills assessments with my clients. Most of my clients are women and LGBTQ senior leaders and executives who work in male-dominated fields. When they start working with me, they are competent as fuck. Yet they're not always making the impact that they want to make across their organization. Or they are making an impact, but don’t feel confident in their capabilities (which impedes exponential impact and growth that they ultimately want to see).
Here’s why.
Why this happens
Management skills matter, but they don’t create impact. When women and underrepresented folks come to me for help, they're already ridiculously competent managers. Though they might not know it. They do SO much work behind the scenes, but don't get the credit, compensation, or get or give themselves the titles they deserve (yet...more on that below).
On the other hand, my white dude clients (you know who you are, I love you!) are seen as having an impact just for showing up. They're seen as leaders even when their management chops are nascent. When they work with me, they often need to fill in their gaps in management because the results that other people see don’t always line up with the results that they are capable of delivering.
I can't say the same for many of the women I work with. They sadly need to do more than just showing up (more on that in a sec) to be seen as making an impact, let alone make that impact.
Own your story
If you want to make an impact as a leader, you can:
a) Have your story written for you and happen to you.
Or you can b) write YOUR story and then bring your story to life.
When you’re a senior leader, your story is not necessarily something you tell. It’s something you know in your brain and more importantly feel in your heart and body.
Your story is who you are, where you came from, who you work with, how you work, what you value, what value you provide, and ultimately where you're going...and how.
When you spend your life falling up into promotions and fortunate situations, that story is written for you. When that happens, you need to make sure that your story and actions align. You can do this by building skills, confidence, humility, and clarity on your value and values.
But when you've spent your life being overlooked, expected to fill certain roles, or told that you're too loud or don't speak up enough...at home, school, work, all of it. Fuck. You have to find your story from within. Management skills not required (you probably already have them or, honestly, you can learn them later on the job…that’s how every man I’ve seen do it…they all turn out fine).
Because the story that’s otherwise written for you is not casting you as the hero. And wouldn’t you rather be the hero?
This is what owning your story looks like:
How to own your story as a leader
1. Find your story
So...how do you find your story? Here are a few things you can try:
• Act it out (improv)
• I could go on...
(btw, I’ve got worksheets you can use to try this all out at home…have fun! And let me know how it goes.)
2. Bring your story to life
Once you have an idea of what your story is or can be, prototype your story…make it real. If you work in tech like most of my clients, do, the good news is that you already know how to do this:
Build > Measure > Learn
Rinse. Repeat.
...in whatever order you want:
What if it doesn't work? Owning your story is not about trying or failing. It's about exploring, learning (by seeking data…so much data), and finding yourself. You might not know where this journey will take you*. But getting there is part of the journey. And all of that...is your story.
You've got this.
* A note on thriving within bullshit systems: I've coached almost 100 people over the last few years, 80% of which have been women. Only 2 in that time have had to leave their jobs because the system was not set up for them to thrive. This is not easy work, but it is doable.**
** I wish we didn't have to do this work at all, honestly. Because the irony of women having to do so much work to get something is that we're already doing so much work which is part of the problem!
That all said…I’m all in. Let’s do this.
